'Working' Mother's - A Family Session

I knew Carissa back when talking about the federal reserve, general ledgers, 

and debits and credits would fill my days. 

I knew her when the 'boys' in our lives 

where the guys we were dating, and not our sons. 

Back in our former lives, our paths would cross once in a while,

 and I was always happy to see her. 

She always had a smile, and she was super ambitious - working her way up from 

a bank teller to the branch manager at a bank in Manhattan. 

***

I remember the first time someone asked me, 

'Are you a working mother?' I felt a pang of guilt.

What does that really mean anyway?

Does it mean you work out of the home, or your work at home is never done? 

Either way it felt very much the same.

For as much as I felt I had accomplished in my professional career, motherhood by far trumped it all.

I stared at Adryanna when I was home on maternity leave
wondering what the heck I was going to do for three months when all she did was sleep. 

So, I began making scrap books, I took pictures, I stayed up late. 

I fell in love a little with photography. 

I read magazines. I read books. 

I watched TV for crying out loud. Like every week. Grey's Anatomy actually. 

It felt like a mini vacation really. 

Yet, for some reason I looked forward to going back to work and having a routine. 

Call me crazy, but I missed hearing adult conversation, 

putting my make up on in the morning...annnd getting out of my pajamas. 

But, the night before I had to return to work I cried myself to sleep. 

I didn't think there was possibly another person in the world 

who could take care of her like I would. 

I was torn. 

I enjoyed my career, but I loved this new little person so much, 

I couldn't stand being away from her. 

It's a personal choice. It's a hard choice. It's a choice that you really can't fathom until the day comes. 

Living on Long Island our choice is almost made for us. 

Expenses are high, and so is health care insurance. The need for a double income is almost a necessity. 

Somehow though, among all of the life's big decisions- 

while we are planning our future, 

our present days are passing us quicker then we think.  

***

Carissa told me she was thinking of waiting until his first birthday to do the session. 

Then she thought about waiting until the baby weight was gone. 

She realized though she needed to catch the moment though before it past her. 

The wonder in their eyes, their off balance teetering when trying out those chubby feet.

This time in our lives will suddenly be our 'yesterday'.  

One day soon, in the blink of an eye - just like those old folks told you when you were a kid - we'll say,

 ' I remember you when you were thiiiiis little', while holding our hand up to knee height. 

And we will smile because we know that indeed we really do remember,

 because a picture won't let us forget. 

Because you don't want to forget their first few steps with you...

Because someone in the family is always missing because they're taking the picture...

Because you should have pictures of the two of you other then your wedding ones...

Because almost all of your photo's are taken on your iphone.

Because never will a leaf be this entertaining when you're an adult...

Because your children should know what life was like when you were in your prime...

Because a few minutes taken to enjoy and experience today,

will have lasting effects on how you see tomorrow.
But more importantly...how they see it. 

Enjoy the little moments...for some day you may look back and realize, they were the 'big' ones.

***

Thank you Randy and Carissa for being so fabulous and putting up with my crazy antics. 

Your little man was amazing. I loooved his happy disposition!

Thank you as well for 

reminding me how important a family picture is. 

And while I should know this and I do...I was among the ones who thought, 

'I'll wait until I lose some weight', 

or 'I'll wait until the kids are a bit older.'

I finally booked our own family session this week.


p.s.

Thanks Erin for the fabulous referral!

p.p.s

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